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    Women are free before 11 p. Stepping into the darkness revealed what could best be described as an "old man bar," except the stools weren't warmed merely by old men but also by a roster of tough-looking old broads who eyed me just as suspiciously as the dudes did the minute I walked in.

    The bottles on the top shelves were visibly dusty in the dim light. When I got too close to his stool to order, one old guy in a retired-military ball cap shoved me aside.

    There was no doubt I was a tourist in a tranny bar in my own town, and these hard-boiled characters wanted me to know it before I even tried to get a drink.

    I wasn't in Divas just on a sex-tourism lark; it was a night out with the girls, with my boy-toy arm candy along for one hell of a ride.

    They were shocked I'd never been to Divas, a cornerstone of the trans-girl community in a variety of ways, both good and bad and now part of my family culture , and they wanted me to see it.

    So I did get a drink, but they ordered for me, as was the custom for the rest of what became the extremely fun night. The dank and sleepy downstairs juice joint was just the first floor.

    The girls led me upstairs to the next floor, where a decidedly younger, hipper crowd was congregating around another bar and a loud dance floor.

    I would never have known it was there from my cursory cruise downstairs. Finding it too loud, we continued to the third floor, with a much homier, almost hotel-bar atmosphere with a big-screen TV, a pool table and a warmly lit wooden bar with couches off to the side.

    Ripped couches, but still. We ventured one more floor up, but, sadly, the karaoke room was closed. For a minute I wistfully imagined a rip-roaring, cosmo-soaked night with ultra-femme, big-boobed tranny girls singing karaoke.

    Mind you, my ideal of hot, fleshy females wasn't downstairs, but it certainly materialized on the upper floors.

    By the time we settled on the third-floor bar with its tall, skintight-catsuit-clad femme fatale barkeep and overly weathered couches, I couldn't decide if I was underdressed or overdressed read: too much clothing on , or if I should just shut up and drink.

    I chose the last one. Sitting with Sparks, Chung and a cute boy, there was no want of attention by some of the most beautiful, jaw-droppingly sexy, curvy, femmed-up girls I'd ever seen.

    One of the Divas dancers who stopped by before her set, Christina, made a trip to Mitchell Bros. She smiled and grinned and teased her mom, Cecilia, while we all ogled her crazy-curvy rear cleavage -- she was wearing a rhinestone thong.

    Cecilia admonished her: "You ride the bus like that? With your ass hanging out? We sent our male companion to the bar for drinks, as only he merited the heavy pours from the flirty brunette barkeep, whose entire look made Hefner's stable look like, well, a stable.

    Then we made our way back downstairs to the bar with the most attitude -- where the step-up stage and its glitter curtain promised us choreographed, costumed, lip-synched striptease shows performed by the girls of Divas.

    At showtime, the worse-for-wear downstairs bar was an entirely different place. Now it was packed with an audience and every seat in the room was taken we were honorably placed stage-side ; overflow patrons stood waiting for the show.

    There were couples, there were single girls dressed from goth to trashy to dressy casual and there were pairs and trios of slightly macho but shockingly ordinary guys in groups.

    Our esteemed emcee, former Empress Alexis Miranda, launched into exactly the monologue you'd expect and that I've heard in strip clubs, a spiel designed to get your focus on the girls and your money out, but with a twist that became even more apparent as the evening and alcohol soaked into my brain.

    As new waves of men came in -- some obnoxious like the business-suit guy I could've sworn was Barack Obama , some nice like the working-class dude with the Bakersfield sweatshirt on -- she made it clear that giving up a couple of bucks for titties and tequila in Divas made you not just a spectator but a participant in transgender culture and history.

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    MY NIGHT WITH A TRANSEXUAL WOMAN

    The Bachelorette's Andrew does David Attenborough impression. Dominic Calvert-Lewin: 'I knew this season was going to be good'.

    Arsenal FC's joyous mascot Gunnersaurus entertains the crowds. Prince George questions David Attenborough on endangered species.

    Woman had eye surgery after feeling 'embarrassed' on video calls. Dele Alli presents great nephew of Walter Tull with signed shirt.

    Married At First Sight couple beam as they meet at the altar. Take a look at the new Coco Pops espresso martini from Milky Lane. TikTok user demonstrates cooking hack to prevent spilling liquid.

    How dog and human brains process different visual information. Northrop Grumman launches rocket and spacecraft to resupply ISS. Selling Sunset's Jason says Christine is 'polarising' the show.

    Miami man viciously punches woman on train during unprovoked attack. Demi Rose poses in diamond studded nipple pasties on Instagram.

    Bianca Gascoigne reveals spat with Katie Price gave her anxiety. Please help. Stop acting so cray, as the kids say, and repeat after me: one dick in the ass does not a gay man make.

    Be a man about this—be a straight man about this—and walk it off, as the football coaches say. Maybe this will help: like a lot of gay men, I had sex with a woman before I came out.

    There are gay men out there who date and fuck and shack up with trans men—men with pussies—so not all gay men are after dick.

    I recently spent a lovely day snorkelling with my wife in Mexico. We were grouped with three men who were obviously in a committed three-person relationship.

    They were lovely people. Several questions: 1 What do gay people call such a union? A couple adds a third? Lots of pros and cons, just curious how it plays out.

    And some gay people—some dumb ones—think gay throuples are bad PR at a time when gay couples are fighting for the right to marry. But our fight is for equal rights, not double standards, and no one argues that straight marriage should be banned because of all the straight throuples, quadles, quintles, sextetles, et cetera, out there.

    Throupledom presents unique challenges: major life decisions require buy-in from three people; two can gang up against one during arguments; the partners who were coupled before the third came along may treat the third as a junior partner, not an equal partner, et cetera.

    But throupledom presents unique benefits, too: another set of hands to help around the house, another income to pay down the mortgage, another smiling face to sit on, et cetera.

    Yet discussions of throupledom all seem to begin with the assumption that coupledom is a self-evidently more stable arrangement. My girlfriend, a regular reader of your column, insists that I used the term incorrectly.

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